10 Ways to Know You Got Ripped Off When You Bought Your GPS Navigation System

10. Upon install the system asks you if you have maps in the car.

9. The systems default language is Norwegian and the only other language available is Chinese.

8. While you are driving, the system asks you to slow down so it can read the road signs.

7. When you first turn it on, the initial map locater shows you a spot in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

6. When you make a wrong turn it sighs heavily and tells you you never listen.

5. It first argues with you and then just becomes *silent*.

4. It gives you directions to the next rest area and asks you to stop because it has to pee.

3. When you change your destination it says it is on break.

2. The “home” address always resets to the factory where it was made.

1. On long trips it keeps asking, “Are we there yet?”

© David Vulcez 2015

Your Birthday

It’s your birthday.  Your own private New Year.  A time to reflect on all things – YOU.  Savour your past, embrace your present (no, not the gift wrapped one) and imagine your future.  This is your day!  Enjoy it.  Wallow in your self-indulgence.  Be one with YOU.  If you start to feel a bit guilty or down because you could be more (or less)… STOP!!!  Do NOT go there.  You’ve done well.  After all, you came into this world with nothing, not even your name.  You are good, intelligent, creative and best of all – LOVED.   No sighing, blubbering or whimpering; it does no good… Besides, you’re going to need all that energy and breath to blow out all those freakin’ candles.

© David Vulcez 2013